i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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