There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Operation Purity has been aborted
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
