I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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