I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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