if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
