1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
