Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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