Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
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I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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