Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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