You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
