return my video game
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
