He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You can't just leave with hair like that
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
