Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
