So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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