i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize