I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
