But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
