would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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