Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
