***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
