I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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