So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize