i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
