He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
