But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
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you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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