ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just puked most of my soul out..
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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