The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
