I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
honey bunches of taint.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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