i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
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He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
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She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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