if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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