I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
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