I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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