You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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