I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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