I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
