haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm really into asian looking animals
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
