so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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