But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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