you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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