We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
