Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
