I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize