Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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