I can't breathe out the right side of my face
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
