in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
