who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?