Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
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I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?