well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago