im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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