I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
