Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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