did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
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How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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