My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
