Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Text me some of your sweat
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