I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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