Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
