i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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