We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
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It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
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He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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