my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
