I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Randomize
